


Everything I Needed to Know about Being Your Friend I Learned from Your Soulmate

by writingfromdarkplaces



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:57:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7725976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingfromdarkplaces/pseuds/writingfromdarkplaces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at why Karl is as good a friend to Kara by way of his strange and awkward not-quite-friendship with Lee Adama.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything I Needed to Know about Being Your Friend I Learned from Your Soulmate

**Author's Note:**

> So this bit of almost headcanon took over my brain and wouldn't let go until it was done.
> 
> It is a mess, and it shows that I am not as familiar with the later episodes, but I couldn't not do it after it persisted through three AU conceptualizations that I ditched. I tried to make it just about the friendship between Helo and Lee, but I am almost incapable of doing stuff without a Lee/Kara slant, so that's here, too.
> 
> It's also a bit of me reacting to "A Day in the Life" where Adama really pissed me off by being unwilling to listen to Lee.
> 
> I kept an almost upbeat ending, though I almost didn't since maelstrom comes so close on the heels of where this ends.

* * *

“You're a great friend, Helo,” Kara muttered into his arm, too drunk to keep her head up, and Karl looked at her with a sad smile, unable to think anything but _no, I'm not._

* * *

Karl met Lee Adama when they were both twelve. Everyone knew when the local base changed staff, since everyone met someone new as soon as it happened and old friends were gone just like that. Karl accepted it, like everyone else did. They all had an unspoken rule—don't get too close to the military brats. They never stay.

He never figured he'd break it, but he also hadn't figured on one kid confusing the hell out of him, and that was his downfall. Curiosity killing the cat, he supposed, but he didn't understand how the kid who got in a fight on the first day of school was the same one that never seemed to look up from his books in the back row of the classroom.

Adama didn't seem tough. He wasn't a fighter. He was smart, smarter than half Karl's class—not surprising since he seemed to be the only one who read the assignments. He read more books than anyone Karl had ever met.

Later, of course, Karl met Lee's brother and understood the fight was about older kids picking on Zak, but that took weeks and a shared assignment. Karl was the unlucky one, stuck with the military brat—his family might move on before their project was done, and no one wanted to be stuck with that when the military kid inevitably dropped the ball. Karl did the obligatory invite, asking Lee to his house, but Lee shook his head no. He had a younger brother to get home, and they'd have to work together another time.

Karl invited himself over just as easily, and Lee looked like he wanted to say no but couldn't think of a reason to, so in the end, he shrugged and let Karl walk with him and his brother.

Zak was the opposite of his brother. He bounced along as they walked, talking up a storm about everything and nothing. Lee gave him a tired smile, nodding through it, and Karl got the feeling that kid wanted to be anywhere but here.

Lee went in the house first, telling them to take a seat and he'd get some kind of snack for them. Zak started talking to Karl, enjoying every second of having company. Karl heard something break in the other room, but Zak waved him off, saying Lee was clumsy when he was trying to impress people. Karl frowned, but Zak started in on a story about their father that had him wishing he was out there on a battlestar himself, and he forgot all about the broken glass.

Lee came in almost an hour later, and Zak pouted, wanting snacks. Lee grimaced and said they were out, mumbling his apology at Karl without looking him in the eyes. He shooed his brother off to do his homework and Karl would have swore that Lee's sole purpose then was to get him out of the house as quickly as possible.

* * *

The project was a success, and Karl's family was thrilled with the result and its grade, highest in the class, and Lee got plenty of attention because they all claim Karl's not that smart. He did his fair share of the work, and so the assumption annoys him, but the idea was Lee's, and he planned it out enough to where it was perfect and deserving of the grade they got, even if Karl still believed Lee was rushing him out of the house that first night.

With kids vying to be Lee's partner on the next few assignments, Karl figured the whole thing wasn't worth worrying about. He did well enough on his own, and he didn't need the new guy to cheat from in any way.

Lee ended up in a fight when the class bully wouldn't take no for an answer, and Karl found himself in the middle of it because Lee claimed he was already working with Karl—a lie—but somehow, bruised and battered afterward, he couldn't find it in himself to care when Lee thanked him for not contradicting the lie.

Karl shrugged it off, deciding this was the start of a friendship, and he liked Lee well enough and the guy did seem to have it rough—from what Zak said, their father hadn't been there once in all the time they'd been at his new base, and they'd probably move again without ever seeing him. Karl didn't know what he'd do if his family lived like that.

He did figure it explained a few things about Lee.

* * *

He was wrong.

Karl didn't understand most of what he saw until he was an adult, but in hindsight, it was all so clear it was painful and left him with guilt and an ache for how stupid he'd been at the time. He was just a kid, but then Lee was just a kid, and he handled the whole thing differently.

It was easy to see how that quiet kid in the back row became the repressed CAG they all knew on _Galactica,_ how he took the burden of command and bore it but cracked under it in ways no one seemed to see.

* * *

Karl had easily fallen into the habit of walking home with Lee and Zak even if the two of them weren't paired up for a project. Lee was still distant, but Zak loved having him around. The three of them were an odd little set, and Lee seemed to be on the outside just a little, but Karl or Zak could pull him in and those were better times. Lee could and did get passionate about things, from telling stories in a way that left Zak breathless or giggling madly, and Karl just liked how easy the company was most days. Once Lee relaxed, things were good.

Or they were until Karl met Carolanne Adama.

He'd never thought it all that strange that he never met Lee's mother. Food showed up, and they had drinks. The house was clean. All of that suggested there was a mother, even if he never saw her. Zak would talk about her. Lee was quiet about her and about his father, but Karl just thought that was how he was.

Carolanne found them at the table, giving Zak a kiss and making him grin. She did the same to Karl, calling him Lee, and Lee gave off a pained, “Mom, I'm over here.”

She laughed like it was a game, going to Lee and squishing him against her. He looked horrified, and later Karl would realize that she smelled strongly of alcohol. At the time, he was just glad he wasn't the one being embarrassed while Zak laughed his ass off.

* * *

The next few days were tense. Karl got the sense that Lee was waiting for something from him, but he didn't know what. He just went on as they were, and eventually Lee relaxed again. He disappeared when they first got to the house, and Zak would roll his eyes, but Karl didn't mind as long as it wasn't weird like it had been, where he felt like Lee wanted nothing more than for him to go.

They were normal, and it was good for a couple more weeks.

Then Karl had the poor timing to need the bathroom right after they got to the house, while Lee was off doing whatever it was he did—Karl had actually assumed that it was the bathroom as well. He made his way down the hall and was just in time to see the bottle hit the refrigerator as he passed.

“Oops,” Carolanne said with laughter, like it was a big joke, and she started humming and dancing about, but Lee, who'd been standing next to where the bottle hit, looked sick, eyes wide with fear, panic making him breathe hard.

Karl offered to help, but Lee shook it off, ushering his mother out of the room and into the hall. Karl heard loud voices, but he didn't follow them to find out what they were saying.

When Lee got back, his cheek was red, and he didn't say anything for the rest of the evening, didn't even look at Karl.

* * *

The tension lasted longer the second time, worse to where Lee told Karl not to bother coming over. Zak said Lee was crazy, being stupid, and he insisted Karl come, which was awkward, and at first Karl didn't go over. Zak kept asking, and eventually Lee stopped objecting and making excuses, so things were back to normal a second time.

That lasted about a week. It was a good week, and Karl was happy. So was Zak. Lee kept looking over his shoulder a lot, like something would happen that never did.

Carolanne came dancing in, pulled Zak up and spun him around the table, and Lee ran from the room. He didn't show up again for the rest of the night.

Karl shrugged it off. It was a little weird, but he'd decided a while back that Lee was weird, period, and he accepted that. He didn't push. He didn't think he needed to.

* * *

A few more weeks went by, and the moment came that changed everything.

Lee and Karl were once again partnered for a project, and they'd built half their model of Kobol before Carolanne showed up. She wasn't dancing this time. The first thing Karl thought when he saw her was that she was scary. Her hair was everywhere, her eyes sunken with dark circles around them, and she stumbled like she'd been hurt.

Lee got out of his chair to help her, but she screamed obscenities at him, grabbing him by the arm so hard it looked like she'd leave a mark. Karl started to say something, but Lee shook his head, warning him off.

She hit him, right across the face, and Lee was still holding his cheek and trying not to cry when she knocked the model of Kobol off the table, destroying it.

Lee told Karl to go, and he only protested once before Carolanne's angry words had him moving to the door. He didn't look back to see if Lee got hit again, hating himself for running.

* * *

The next day, the model of Kobol was complete and turned in, but Lee wasn't in class.

He didn't show up for two more days, and Karl was going out of his head. He tried going to the Adama house, but no one answered the door. Zak gave him a weird look when he finally cornered the kid, saying he didn't know why Karl was so worried—Lee was fine, just faking being sick because he wanted more time on the project.

Karl knew that was wrong, but he didn't correct Zak on it.

He was relieved to see Lee at school the next day, but Lee didn't even look at him. He ignored every attempt Karl made to talk to him. It was like Karl didn't exist.

* * *

Karl told himself it would get better, like it had before.

It didn't.

The school year ended with Lee never saying another word to him. Zak talked to him, but Lee always shut the door before Karl could go in the house, never budged an inch from the cold, silent treatment he gave him.

Karl got mad. He didn't understand what he'd done wrong. It wasn't like his mom had the problem. That was Carolanne. She was mean and drunk—Karl knew the smell now—and that wasn't his fault. Lee was wrong to punish him for it, and it made Karl angry.

So he didn't talk to Lee right back.

* * *

Midway through that summer, Karl found himself down by the local lake alone.

He hadn't gone out for sports that summer, though there was a Pyramid league starting up and he'd wanted to be a part of it—with Lee, so the dream kind of fizzled out when they weren't friends anymore.

That was where he found Lee, and where Lee spoke to him for the first time in months.

“It doesn't work.”

Karl frowned. “What doesn't work?”

“This,” Lee said, picking up the bottle, one the same as the one Karl remembered seeing go at his head. Lee wobbled, almost losing his balance. “I thought... I thought maybe I'd... understand. That... I'd know why she needed it so badly. Why... it was more important than us. If it killed the pain as much as she seems to think it does.”

Drunk. Lee was drunk. Karl's mind whirled with that information, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't. There weren't words for this, and even if there were, he didn't have them.

“My dad left us.”

“Frak. When?”

“Months ago.” Lee lifted the bottle and took another sip. “I tried to tell him not to, tried to get him to see how bad she was, but he wouldn't listen. He never does. He doesn't care any more than she does. I hate them. I hate both of them.”

Karl sat down next to him. “It's not that bad.”

“Did I tell you she had a boyfriend? Not even sure how she managed to meet him since she's never sober, but she's got one,” Lee said, disgusted. He drank again, and Karl was both worried and relieved by how empty the bottle was now. He was almost done, so it couldn't get much worse, right?

“Maybe that's a good thing.”

Lee snorted. “No one she dates could be a good thing. Men who come after drunk women only want one thing.”

Karl frowned. “Lee, did he hurt her? Did... did he hurt you?”

“We're moving. Without Dad's money we can't afford this place, which is stupid because we're only here because of him. Gods, I hate this,” Lee said, finishing off the bottle. “I don't even think they'd care if I walked out in that water and never came back.”

“Don't,” Karl said, scared beyond belief by what Lee was saying. “You don't have to do that. You're okay—well, you're not okay, but you're not alone. You have Zak, don't you?”

“They love Zak. They hate me,” Lee whispered. “Everyone does. What's wrong with me? I don't even know what I did or why I'm so bad...”

“Lee,” Karl said, but he couldn't find an answer. Turned out he didn't need one because Lee passed out a minute later, curled up on his side around the bottle.

* * *

The Adamas were gone the next day.

Karl had fallen asleep while watching over Lee, and when he woke up in the dark, Lee was gone. The bottle was there, empty, and he threw it into the lake in anger.

He'd figured he could talk to Lee in the morning so he went home. He hadn't realized that the moving company would have everything loaded up and gone by the time he dragged himself out of bed and that his friend—were they friends? Karl was still confused about that—would be on another planet before he got to their house.

Karl didn't know why, but he felt guilty.

* * *

Later, he knew it was because he hadn't said anything to anyone about the situation in Lee's home. He'd known there was abuse, and he'd stayed silent. He'd known Lee was close to suicidal—Karl tried to deny that a lot—but he'd stayed silent.

He just hoped Lee made it out of there alive, and he put his head down, doing the same in his own home. All the little discomforts of his life and family seemed insignificant when he thought about Lee—and Zak, innocent Zak that didn't even seem to know what was happening around him.

* * *

Karl didn't see Lee again for years.

Zak sent letters occasionally. Lee never did.

Karl reread them for signs that things were bad, worse, or the same in the Adama house, but Zak stayed mostly upbeat—he had a notable exception when it came to Lee. He was sick of being in Lee's “perfect” shadow, never measuring up to him.

Karl wondered if that was bias or if things actually had changed for Lee, who assumed everyone hated him.

* * *

When they met again at the Academy, they're in different years. Lee somehow made it before he did—Zak's letters did mention Lee being a suck up who graduated early—and they didn't have any classes together. Karl caught glimpses of him sometimes on campus. Lee was back to his books in the back of the room routine, and he gave no hint of recognition when Karl tried to talk to him.

Bringing up the letters Zak still wrote didn't help. Lee just blinked, said he was Zak's friend, and gathered up his books, claiming not to have time to chat.

Lee was head of his class, and the rumor was he'd be pulled straight to War College. Karl was in the middle of his, just average, but his flight scores said he was headed straight for Raptors, whereas Lee had already made his mark in Vipers.

It was some kind of irony that Karl ended up with the call sign he did. He had to wonder if Helo was supposed to be Helios, a god that was often confused with Apollo, which was what they ended up naming Lee.

* * *

Years would pass again before Karl's path crossed with Lee's.

He met Zak's girlfriend in the meantime, and while Starbuck was loud and full of life, Helo saw past the bravado to the look in her eyes, the same haunted one Lee had when they were kids. Somehow he found himself a place with her and Zak—owing, he supposed, to Zak's claim that Helo was the brother he always wanted, a statement that made Karl feel guilty all over again. Still, he stuck as close as he could while assigned to a battlestar, telling himself he wouldn't make the same mistakes again.

It worked, for a while, until Zak died and a lot of things fell apart.

* * *

Helo was there at the funeral. No one saw him or paid much attention to him, but he was there.

He saw Kara grieving. He saw the loss and the guilt, and he knew it was going to eat her alive.

He saw Lee, saw the anger he finally unleashed on his father and knew that tirade was more than twenty years coming. The Old Man just stood there and glared back at him, letting Lee walk away instead of stopping him. Karl wondered if that was what it was like when Adama left, if they'd fought and one of them just walked out then, too.

He tried to approach Lee afterward, but Lee held him off with a few words. “Unless you want to fight, back off now.”

So Karl had, and a part of him still regretted it.

* * *

Kara came on _Galactica,_ and Karl was relieved. He could watch out for her here, save her from going too deep. He sparred with her, teased her, drank with her, and it was comfortable, like they'd been doing it all their lives. He learned when to push and when to back off, though he had a head start there with Lee. He'd learned the hard way that some pushing had to be done or the whole thing got lost. So he pushed Kara when she wanted him to back off, he blocked her when she tried to dodge him, and he never let her get away with the silent treatment.

He met her on her terms whenever he could, but he didn't shy away from asking the tough questions. That was how he knew about her mom and the truth behind most of her drunk and disorderly charges. He knew her, in and out, and he never took advantage of her, even when she thought she wanted to frak him rather than deal with the issue at hand.

Kara was his chance to get it right, and he took it. He made sure it worked. He couldn't always save her from herself, but he sure as hell tried in ways he hadn't tried before.

* * *

Lee came on board for _Galactica's_ decommissioning, and the ship was half in awe of the great Apollo before he even set foot on deck. Karl knew he'd hate that, and he told everyone not to make a fuss about it, but of course Kara was up to her own tricks and told them to make a big fuss. They listened to her, not Helo, and that, Karl could tell by the time they were in the ready room together, was a big mistake.

He still waved, and Lee acknowledged him. Boomer waved as well, like they were a team, but they weren't, and Karl was secretly glad to have that nod from Lee.

The rest of the pilots seemed to want to linger and talk to him, and Lee looked more and more stressed by the second, so Karl intervened, ushering them off and to their planes or their racks because everyone had something to do.

“Not that I'm not grateful, Helo, but why bother?”

“Because I still remember you even if you refuse to remember me,” Karl told him honestly, and Lee set his jaw. “Look, I know I frakked up when we were kids. I want to say I was young and stupid. And angry. You stopped talking to me and—”

“Not here. Not now.”

“Then when?” Karl shook his head. “You've been ducking me for over a decade now. I think this has waited long enough.”

Lee looked at him. “The only way to deal with it was to pretend it didn't happen. You saw it. That made it real. That was unacceptable. It still is. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to change for some frakking publicity photos with my father.”

Karl was still a little stunned by the admission Lee had made, but he managed to speak. Not about what he wanted, but something all the same. “I know you're angry with him, but he's not a bad commander.”

“Yeah, well, he was a lousy father, and I'm tired of everyone trying to tell me differently.”

Helo thought about what Lee had said that night when he was drunk. He wasn't sure he could blame Lee for being angry, even if he knew a much different version of the commander. “Kara's in hack. I think she'd be glad to see you.”

“I doubt it. No one is. Not really.”

* * *

The worlds ended. Karl found himself on Caprica, alone.

That's something of an irony, too, but he couldn't sort it all out. He wished he'd had a real opportunity to talk to Lee and fix things, especially now that he knew what had actually gone wrong. He also wanted to be there for Kara if she was still alive because she still needed him.

Then Sharon finds him, and his life takes a turn both toward good and bad and hell, and he didn't know what to make of things.

Was it all tied to the past that he was willing to listen to her and believe she had his baby?

* * *

Finding Kara again was a frakking miracle.

She was there just when Helo was at his lowest, having shot Sharon after learning she was a Cylon, one who apparently had his kid. Then in came Kara on a crazy mission for an arrow, and he fell right back in with her.

The resistance was unexpected, and he wasn't surprised that Kara hooked up with one of them. Later, when Kara told him more of _Galactica_ after the fall, he was, but only because by then he'd seen Kara with Lee and he knew that Anders wasn't in the same league. The man wasn't a bad guy, but there was a connection between Kara and Lee that was going to frak up anyone that tried to defy it, even them. A hard road was coming, and he wanted to stop it or prepare them for it, but they were stubborn, and he still didn't have much of a friendship with Lee.

Or any, when it came right down to it.

* * *

“I'm the CAG. We're not friends,” Lee told him, and Karl didn't know if that was because of Sharon or the past, but he accepted it.

In retrospect, he shouldn't have, but Karl wasn't the best at interpreting Lee, and he was in a hard place to begin with. Trying to find a place on _Galactica_ when he was in love with a Cylon that shot Adama wasn't easy, and Karl let that get in the way.

* * *

When Lee came to see them in the brig, Karl held out something close to hope.

If they'd been alone, he would have asked Lee a dozen questions, all of them about the past, though the one that nagged at him the most was if Lee managed to forgive his father, why hadn't he forgiven anyone else?

He would get the answer later, that it was never about forgiveness, and he still didn't understand it when it came.

* * *

Something was off with Lee after the Resurrection ship, and Kara was worried but Lee wouldn't talk to her. Karl tried, and he got about the same result.

“I'm handling it, Helo. Stay out of it.”

So Karl did, only intervening to shut a few of his fellow pilots up when they started talking about the CAG's many visits to _Cloud Nine_ and the rumors he was seeing a prostitute. That was all he could do for Lee, even if Karl didn't think much of his way of handling things.

* * *

“She needed something to live for,” Karl said, and Lee nodded, though a part of Karl was sure the other man felt betrayed by Kara's choice. The tension between them was worse than Karl had ever seen it before, and he figured it ran about as high as what made her jump to Caprica, but she was better, having something to live for.

Lee not as much.

“Everyone does, Helo.”

“Look, I didn't say that to—”

“You're a good friend to her,” Lee interrupted, signaling that further discussion of Anders or anything else was out of the question. Again. “That matters.”

“I'm your friend, too. I've been your friend for a long time.”

“You're Zak's friend.”

Helo frowned. Not only was that wrong because Zak was dead, but Lee couldn't mean that. “You don't actually think that us hanging out back then was about Zak, do you?”

“He stayed in touch. I didn't. Your friendship meant a lot to him, especially when Dad left.”

Karl tried to take that in. “Well, you weren't talking to me, and Zak never actually said your father left. Sometimes I think he had blinders on to everything back then.”

“At least one of us got to be blind,” Lee said, and Karl knew he'd done his best to keep Zak from knowing about any of it.

“I'm your friend now, Apollo.”

Lee blinked, and then he shook his head. “No, you're not. You can't be. Because she needs someone, and she won't let it be me. If you're friends with me, you can't be friends with her. So be her friend. She needs you more.”

Karl wanted to argue that, but they'd seen Kara almost self-destruct and go after Scar like she was hell bent on dying, and it was hard to deny that Lee at least seemed to be coping, even if Karl was almost certain he wasn't.

* * *

“Why Dee?” Karl asked, and he didn't know if he asked for himself or for Kara.

In a moment of rare openness, probably because he was still on the good drugs and they were alone, Lee admitted, “Because she doesn't see past the pretense, Karl. She doesn't want to.”

And Karl understood then that the facade was the hardest part for Lee to let go of, the one that said he was fine, the one that kept him on his feet and pretending none of this got to him, just like he had when he was younger and his mother's drinking was spiraling out of control.

“But Kara does?”

“Not always,” Lee said, “but when she wants to... she won't let it go until there's nothing left to salvage.”

Karl thought that was a sad, if accurate representation of their relationship.

“Helo?” Lee asked as he started for the door. He stopped and looked back at him. “I don't hate Kara for shooting me.”

“Does she know that?”

“She hasn't been here,” Lee said. “But even if I told her, I don't think she'd believe me. Kara needs the guilt to keep her distance. I need the anger.”

“But you're not mad at her.”

“No, just myself.”

* * *

Lee got _Pegasus,_ and Karl barely saw him.

Kara acted like she didn't care, like it didn't matter to her that Lee was involved with Dee or anything else. Karl knew they'd been on a mission together that went badly, costing the life of Lee's XO, and Kara claimed Lee kept trying to get her killed.

Karl asked Lee about that, and Lee's answer was that Kara was the only one he trusted to get the job done, even if she was the last one he wanted doing it. Karl got the sense that he was buckling under the pressures of command, even if by all reports he was good at it.

She threw herself into plans to rescue Anders, and Karl helped her with them, helped her bring him back and fulfill her promise, even if he knew he was damning everyone in the process.

It helped with his own pain, the grief of losing Hera.

* * *

Then New Caprica came.

The fleet divided. People settled.

Kara left with Anders, a decision Karl didn't understand. He didn't think anything could take her out of the air. Zak hadn't, and he'd been her forever once. Lee wouldn't, because that was where she belonged and he understood that.

Still, she left.

And worse was to come, even if Karl missed most of the fallout from it.

* * *

“I'm having a hard  time believing what I just heard,” Karl said, cornering Lee after the meeting. “You can't mean that. Leaving them behind isn't an option.”

“It may be the only option.”

“Those are our people. How can you say that? Where is the man I knew? He'd never say that. Not when Kara's down there.”

Lee looked at him, cold as usual, though Karl didn't take it as seriously as he might have before Lee's stint on the _Pegasus_ made him lose his edge. “Have you considered that maybe you never knew me at all, Helo?”

“I did,” Karl said with barely contained fury. “And I still don't believe it.”

“It's not the first time I made this call,” Lee told him, and Karl believed him. “It likely won't be the last.”

“Do you really hate her that much?”

“No. I only wish I did.”

* * *

Being CAG again after commanding _Pegasus_ chafed, and Karl could see it. The demotion stung even if it was the only option for the admiral after Lee sacrificed the _Pegasus_ to save the rest of the fleet. Karl knew that man was still in there, but he wasn't as relieved to see him as he thought he would be. It had cost too much.

* * *

Everyone had scars after New Caprica.

Kara's lost, and Karl tried to help her, but all of his tricks weren't working.

“Give her to the admiral,” Lee advised. No, he dismissed, and it pissed Karl off.

“Can't you—”

“He helped her before when I couldn't,” Lee said, and that was the end of it. Kara saw the admiral, and she was better. Not fixed, just better. She seemed to take a page out of Lee's book and pretended New Caprica never happened.

* * *

Karl figured that a turn in the ring would do them both good, and he figured right. He got out some of his frustrations since he was still frustrated by Lee's “not friends” stance. He got to knock down Apollo.

He was feeling good about it, good enough to let the inevitable fight between Starbucks and Apollo happen.

Truth was, it was overdue.

* * *

Karl knew before the others. He knew that he should stop it, but that wasn't his place. After all this time, he knew one truth about himself. He was a temporary fix at best.

* * *

“You sure doing the right thing is going back to Dee?”

“I don't frakking know, Helo. I don't know anything anymore. I used to have a moral compass. A sense of right and wrong and I didn't cross it. Now it's frakked to hell, and I don't know up from down. I just...”

“Dee lets you pretend you're okay.”

“Yeah.”

“You ever consider not pretending?”

Lee snorted. “I'm an Adama. This is how we function. Anything outside the bubble doesn't exist. And trust me, I learned that from the best.”

“You're still mad at your father.”

“I don't think that will ever change. We're just both masters at pretending it doesn't exist. That way we have a relationship. Otherwise...”

“Yeah.” Karl sighed. “Something's got to give, you know. You can't pretend forever.”

“Something already gave, Helo.”

* * *

Life muddled on, and somehow they all got through it despite everything.

Temples were found. Killers exposed.

Bonds bent and stretched toward breaking.

* * *

“You were right. It's not enough to pretend.”

Karl settled in next to the other man at the bar, not sure if Apollo knew who he was talking to, but then he should. That did sound like it was meant for him, and who else would be looking for him? Not Kara. Not Dee. “That's a first.”

Lee shrugged. “You've been right before. Maybe I didn't say, it but you were.”

Karl watched him drink. “Maybe I was. About what?”

“I frakking hate him.”

Karl didn't need to ask, not when he knew that Lee didn't really hate Sam, but he did anyway. “Your father?”

“He does this every year. Spends a day remembering his marriage. Only he doesn't. He doesn't remember what it was really like. He remembers what he wants to, believes this lie he's created for himself. Frakking bastard.”

“Apollo—”

“He told me I was better off with my mother. That she gave us a home and safety.”

“Frak,” Karl said. “He still doesn't know that she hit you?”

Lee emptied his drink and motioned for another. “I tried to tell him. He said she was my mother. That's enough, he said. I can't tarnish the image he has of her.”

Karl shook his head. “I'll tell him. I saw it, too.”

Lee stared at him. “Why would you do that?”

“Because we're friends,” Karl answered, waiting for a denial that didn't come. “Because I respect the admiral, always have, but that's a crap way to treat your kid.”

Lee downed his latest drink in a single gulp. “Don't bother. He won't listen. No sense getting him pissed at you, too.”

“Lee—”

“Thank you, Karl,” Lee said, getting up from the bar. “For... For what you were willing to do. You're... you're a good friend. Better than I deserve."

“You deserve friends, Lee,” Karl told him, and for once, Karl felt like one.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Best Friendship Is a Good Defense](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7903684) by [writingfromdarkplaces](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingfromdarkplaces/pseuds/writingfromdarkplaces)




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